This weekend has been going well so far. I spent last night at a small Rocky Votolato show in a barn! If you don't know who he is, you should really check out his music. It's amazing.
The only dark cloud hovering over things is the wedding of longtime acquaintances. They sent the invitation just to me, no guest. Since my relationship is so new, and they have been busy with wedding planning, I hadn't had a chance to tell them about it or introduce them. However, I'd like CG with me because the wedding is over an hour away and I don't have a car. He does, so he could drive. Also, weddings are mushy and awkward. Since he's an important part of my life now, I'd like him with me to make it less miserable. Don't get me wrong, if this was a party I'd be totally fine going alone. I don't want to become one of those joined-at-the-hip couples, but I do want his support at an event that might be difficult for me. I'm shy, and it's hard trying to make small talk with people I don't know very well.
I wrote to my friends and asked nicely if I could bring him if there was room. I explained the situation and that he is someone I've known and dated before. I wanted them to understand the fact that he's not someone I picked up last week at a bar. They replied:
We intentionally did not include "plus 1s" because we didn't want people to just find a random date for the wedding, however we did not want to exclude a person's significant other because we understand that when you're in a serious long-term relationship, you choose to spend much of your time together so it's awkward to ditch them for a social event. So not having met him or heard of him before, we're not quite sure which definition he falls under...? If it's just about the ride, we could ask around to see if anyone is able to give you a ride.
This message sent me into a funk for a good hour. Why is she questioning my relationship? Why do I have to defend it? Who makes these rules about what qualifies as a serious LTR? I already told her this is someone who had been in my life for years, why do I have to tell her again? Weddings are pretty much the ONLY time where the significance of a relationship affects whether or not someone is welcome. He is important to me. That's all that should matter.
I really really hate weddings, but I do want to be there to support my friends getting married. I just wish they wouldn't make it so damn difficult!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Welcome to my blog
Hello and welcome! I suppose I should start off telling you a little bit about myself and the purpose of this blog.
I am 28 years old, soon to be 29. I have a job doing psychology research, and I am crazy in love with snowboarding and knitting. My parents split up when I was 12 because my dad is gay. They are both remarried now and all my four parents get along great.
As for the reason for the blog, I am in the middle of two big life changes, and I thought it might be beneficial to record the journey in something slightly more public than my journals. The first big thing is that I recently entered into a relationship with my best friend (and former boyfriend) of 10+ years. This is a crazy big change because since my last breakup (with someone who didn't even want to call me his girlfriend), I had been loving my independent single life. I finally had a better grasp on who I was, and swore that I'd never get married, have kids, or even live with someone. I value my solitude too much.
However, everything changed when my now-boyfriend, whom I will refer to as car guy, or CG, was there for me at the ER when I was having an asthma attack. We had dated off and on through college, and had always cared about each other, but the timing had never been right. Until now.
Although I am insanely happy, I still have my reservations. What happens when things get tough? What about when we fight? Or if we don't fight, is that bad? Will things ever get boring, and if so, will I want to break up with him for something more exciting? Will it be ok that he doesn't snowboard? Will he convince me to move to the suburbs? And most importantly, how do I retain the sense of self I've worked so hard to find, while being part of a couple?
The second big change hasn't happened yet. In less than a month I will be starting grad school for a counseling program. I will go from working full-time to part time, and it's going to be a challenge for me to make sure I schedule regular hours for studying so it doesn't take over all my free time. And no, 2am cramming doesn't count! Also, the program has promised to "change my life" so we'll see how that goes. I'm expecting a lot of growth and some tearful nights.
I am 28 years old, soon to be 29. I have a job doing psychology research, and I am crazy in love with snowboarding and knitting. My parents split up when I was 12 because my dad is gay. They are both remarried now and all my four parents get along great.
As for the reason for the blog, I am in the middle of two big life changes, and I thought it might be beneficial to record the journey in something slightly more public than my journals. The first big thing is that I recently entered into a relationship with my best friend (and former boyfriend) of 10+ years. This is a crazy big change because since my last breakup (with someone who didn't even want to call me his girlfriend), I had been loving my independent single life. I finally had a better grasp on who I was, and swore that I'd never get married, have kids, or even live with someone. I value my solitude too much.
However, everything changed when my now-boyfriend, whom I will refer to as car guy, or CG, was there for me at the ER when I was having an asthma attack. We had dated off and on through college, and had always cared about each other, but the timing had never been right. Until now.
Although I am insanely happy, I still have my reservations. What happens when things get tough? What about when we fight? Or if we don't fight, is that bad? Will things ever get boring, and if so, will I want to break up with him for something more exciting? Will it be ok that he doesn't snowboard? Will he convince me to move to the suburbs? And most importantly, how do I retain the sense of self I've worked so hard to find, while being part of a couple?
The second big change hasn't happened yet. In less than a month I will be starting grad school for a counseling program. I will go from working full-time to part time, and it's going to be a challenge for me to make sure I schedule regular hours for studying so it doesn't take over all my free time. And no, 2am cramming doesn't count! Also, the program has promised to "change my life" so we'll see how that goes. I'm expecting a lot of growth and some tearful nights.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)