It doesn't help that the sun in Seattle went missing this week

I am having one of those days where I am bothered about something, but don't want to come across as the needy girlfriend, so I am trying not to say it.  I don't know if my feelings, however valid (because all feelings are valid) are reasonable.  But not saying something is often worse than getting it out and properly dealt with, needy or not.  By keeping my emotions to myself, particularly the ones that are more than passing annoyance, I risk letting them fester and grow into major pain, sadness, or anger. 

CG is in Vegas again and I'm having a hard time.  He's only been there since yesterday, and he gets back tomorrow, but I haven't seen him since Saturday so it feels much longer.  We talked yesterday online while he was traveling, but then he signed off to take his final flight and I haven't heard from him since.  I know he's ok thanks to Facebook, but really, would it be so hard to send a quick message to me letting me know he's arrived?  I worry a little when people I love travel. 

I think this is magnified by the fact that on Tuesday night the conversation lagged and then he signed off without saying goodbye.  Although not required, I think it's nice to say goodnight, especially before a trip. 

I know that he is a great guy, and he treats me well.  He is kind and loving, but he has spent more time out of relationships than in them.  (And those times weren't dating-single so much as alone-single.)  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, because maybe he just isn't used to having someone around to be concerned.  I'm sure he didn't mean to upset me.  But I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like a clingy whiner.  Yeah, I miss him after only 5 days.  Not because I can't live without him, but because I really, truly enjoy having him around.

2010 in review

January: Things really started to go downhill with my non-boyfriend (NBF).  We went through yet another breakup, and this time I (mistakenly) thought it was for real.  I also started to get my things in order to apply for grad school.

February: On Valentine's Day the NBF and I hadn't talked for a couple of weeks, and I woke up to discover my guinea pig had passed away.  She had been sick all weekend so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but I was pretty sad.  Happy Valentine's Day to me.  A few days later, NBF contacted me again.  We resumed a very shaky relationship, but he rarely had time to see me.  He had filled the hole I left in his life with so many activities that it was impossible for us to get together unless he came over for a midnight tryst.

March: More of the same with NBF, but around this time I had at least picked myself up enough to start dating again.  However, even though I didn't know if I was ready for a boyfriend, I did want to meet someone I could have a connection with.  Submitted grad school applications. 

April: Grad school interviews at the end of the month.  I got interviews at both schools I applied to!  Dating continued, and I discovered that I just wasn't into the geeky software guys that are so common in these parts.  They were all super nice, but I needed someone with a little more...je ne sais quoi, comprenez-vous?

May: Was accepted at my first choice school!  I was rejected by my last-choice, but that's ok because I don't think it would have been a good fit.  Also went on an epic first date with a guy named Hadley*.  He was in the process of moving here, but had to go back home for a while to tie up loose ends and travel around and see people.  We kept in contact online for the rest of the month.

June:  Hadley came back 6 weeks later for the solstice, and we dated for another 6 weeks in person only to realize we were not very compatible after all.  He was very pushy about things that I was uncomfortable with, such as PDAs.  I also realized that he and I had very different ideas of fun.  He wanted to sit around on my couch or in a bar all the time.  If I wanted to do something else I'd have to plan it.  He also didn't have a job and was couch surfing since he'd just moved and after a few weeks that grew old.  I think he would have moved in with me if I'd let him.  Oh, and all he did during the day was hang out in parks and coffee shops! 

July:  I kept dating Hadley into July.  At that point I pretty much knew it wasn't going to work out, but I had to see it through to the end just to be sure.  Then one night during a live theater performance he tickled me and wouldn't stop.  That was it, he was out.  Around the same time I had the asthma incident with CG and I knew that was going to turn into something real.

August: CG and I made it official on the first.  We finished out the summer by going on a weekend road trip and getting to know each other as partners again after 10 years of being just friends.  Had my final conversation with NBF early in the month.  Haven't heard from him since. 

September: I started grad school!  It was a big adjustment for sure, but I loved my classes so that made it easier.

October: CG and I turned 29 and had endless birthday dinners with all our family and friends.

November: This month was rocky due to CG being gone for 10 days, meltdowns of friends and continuing to adjust to all the big changes in my life. 

December: I finished up my first quarter with a 3.6, CG and I took our first trip together to San Francisco, and I bought a car!  We spent Christmas with each other's families and our relationship just kept getting better and better. 

*Yeah, I used his real name.  This is how much I don't care about protecting his anonymity.